Thor_Ragnarok_posterI don’t really like Marvel movies. I disapprove of much of what people seem to love about them. Like the fact that Stan Lee is in every one of them. Or that they put Easter eggs in the credits and how that forces people to stare at scrolling text for ten minutes on the off-chance that Iron Man will say something baffling out of context. Or that the last 20 minutes are more often than not a noisy CGI mess. That said, I loved Ant Man, mainly thanks to Paul Rudd and a script that had passed through the hands and brain of Edgar Wright. And I really liked the first Thor movie, although not to the point where I felt compelled to see the second one. So I went to see Thor: Ragnarok, which features a colon and a word from Norse mythology, with a mind as open as I hoped my eyes would remain.

It was fine. But I have a few caveats.

To start with, there’s the plot. The plot, or perhaps better described as the stuff that happens at the start that dictates what subsequently happens, sees Thor captured for a bit by a fire demon called Surtur whose head he eventually takes because it’s going to be useful later on. Odin meanwhile is tracked down in Norway with help from Doctor Strange, because it was important for franchise reasons to have Benedict Cumberbatch in the movie. Odin reveals that his first born, Hela, is about to turn up and she’s going to be pissed off and she’s the goddess of death and so everyone is going to be in for a torrid old time of it. Sure enough she does precisely that and on their way back to Asgard, she sends Thor and Loki crashing out of their dimension tunnel thing and on to a planet of garbage where Jeff Goldblum will turn up and be Jeff Goldblum for a while. The Hulk inexplicably appears at some point. Stuff continues to happen unabated. Asgard is threatened and I think I’m supposed to care.

Judging by the reaction of others, this is a funny film, but for me the humor is so forced it just becomes irritating. Having our hero bumble and stumble his way through proceedings gets old fast and essentially dilutes down the moments where anything is at stake. The most interesting moments and best lines came from the softly-spoken rock-giant gladiator, Korg, and then you realize you’ve used the phrase “softly-spoken rock-giant gladiator” and feel the need for a little lie down.

There are people who would say that having Luke Hemsworth and Matt Damon in cameo roles where they perform as Thor and Loki in a play version of, so I’m led to believe, The Dark World is cute and clever. These people are wrong. It’s stupid and attention seeking and just another attempt to squeeze a cheap chuckle out of the audience.

Look, it’s fine. Chris Hemsworth is engaging enough as Thor. Tom Hiddleston continues to do his best to show everyone else how to act. Cate Blanchett is oddly out of place as Hela. Idris Elba is shockingly underused. It’s utterly mindless and almost instantly forgettable and at 130 minutes it feels like it’s at least 20 minutes longer than that, but really it’s fine. It’s okay. It’s pointless but it’s fine.

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