There’s a moment in the latest installment of the Twilight saga where Jacob asks Bella how she’s doing and she says she’s fine except for the fact a bunch of vampires want to kill her. As Jacob scoops her up in to his arms and holds her against his mighty barechested buffness, he observes, “Same old, same old.”

And that, right there, is the problem.

The good news is that Eclipse is the best so far in the series of Twilight movies. The bad news is, it’s still pretty dull and the story moves forward at such a deathly slow pace, there were times when I thought I was still watching New Moon.

At the end of Part Two, Edward proposes to Bella and essentially Part Three is a two hour journal of her making up her mind. In between there’s a subplot of a bunch of newborn vampires gathering an army to destroy our heroine and despite the big build up afforded to The Fight or The Battle all the way through, this is really a movie about choice: yes or no, werewolf or vampire, living or dead, jock frat boys or functioning heroin addicts, Burger King or McDonalds, Coke or … Coke Zero.

Perhaps unsurprising, most of my thoughts about New Moon hold true for Eclipse. Robert Pattinson is a pretty good actor, Kristen Stewart is terrible, there’s still an awful lot of moping about being miserable and the motivations of Bella simply confuse me pretty much from start to finish.

At one point, after a-huggin and a-smootchin with her supposed raison d’être and the guy she’s constantly nagging at to change her, when wolf boy turns up — someone she knows vampire boy despises, someone she knows has feelings for her, someone she knows wants to steal her away — and yet she jumps on the wolf bike and buggers off without so much as how-do-you-do, leaving vamp standing about like the kid waiting for someone, anyone, to accept his hanging high-five.

Who does that? Who behaves that way? I just don’t get it. Let’s assume Bella was after a green card rather than immortality, Edward was going to provide that for her and Jacob works for the Department of Immigration. You see? You see my problem? Apparently, Bella is confused but Kristen Stewart doesn’t do light and shade so if that’s in the source material, I don’t think it transferred onto the screen.

It’s not all doom and gloom, though. Some comedic relief is provided from the supporting cast of Ashley Greene (Alice), Billy Burke (Charlie) and Anna Kendrick (Jessica). Plus, in Eclipse we find out some of the history of how the Cullen vampires came to be and these vignettes, while very much reminiscent of Interview With The Vampire, was well done, interesting, quite edgy and generally I would’ve been happy with more.

I know this isn’t for me, I know I’m not target, and I doubt whether this will be the movie of July, never mind the movie of the summer or the movie of the year, but I can’t help but feel frustrated that for all the money and the size of the machine behind it, this is the best they can do.

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