I wonder if Martin Clunes had a dog as a child; some kind of collie-cross that was inevitably called Patch. And I wonder if Patch was his best friend, whom he loved with all his heart. And I wonder if they were inseparable, good old Patch and Martin, and if the dog would  sleep at the foot of young Martin’s bed and Martin would only go to sleep if Patch was there. And I wonder if Martin howled until his ears burned hotter than the sun when God threw Patch his final bone. So then I wonder, if any of the above was even slightly close to the mark, how Martin Clunes would feel now if say, David Mitchell, dug up old Patch from his final resting place, in the shade of the Clunes’ apple tree, and with an ad-hoc combination of jumper cables, fluorescent liquids and a couple of ditties from a long forgotten Micmac book of the dead, reanimated the deceased canine a la Herbert West and then forced the decayed mess to perform all his old tricks, just not as well, not as quick, not as entertaining. I wonder …

Anyway, I see that Martin Clunes is to star in a remake of Reggie Perrin. I’m sure it’ll be fab.

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