On the theme of being late (see post below and numerous others) it’ll come as no surprise to my reader (Hi Steve!) to learn that I was late for a meeting today.

There are a number of buildings in the campus where I work and for whatever reason, they’ve decided to go with an impressionist view on meeting room naming conventions.  So, seeing Room 31B might lead you to believe that it was the third meeting room on the first floor of building B, but it doesn’t and maybe you should read that last sentence about naming conventions again.  31B could be anywhere.  Sometimes, it doesn’t even exist.

Today I had a meeting in Room 2-6.  See, it’s nothing like 31B!  This one’s even got a hyphen in it.  It might be a sum or a range compared with the previous effort’s bra size.

Anyway, some years back, either Hansel or Gretel must’ve had a meeting with the nasty witch in Room 2-6 to discuss gingerbread results for Q3 and along with a trail of breadcrumbs, they managed to tac the following sign on a wall.  Now, before you look at the sign, imagine a square.  The square is a plan view of the floor we’re on.  I’ve come in through a door in the middle of the bottom edge, walked up the middle and come to the wall in the middle of the top edge.  The word “middle” is used three times there as a deliberate effort to help you picture my journey and imagine where this sign has been stuck:

Three things:

  1. I’m not standing in a corner — I’M IN THE MIDDLE — so there isn’t anything diagonally opposite from me, except, arguably, the door I’ve just walked through.  I’m pretty sure that wasn’t where the meeting was scheduled to be because there weren’t any people drumming their fingers on a desk and looking impatient when I’d walked through moments earlier.
  2. Are both meeting rooms really in the exact same place?  Are they both in the same opposite corner to the corner I’m not standing in right now?  I dunno if there’s some quantum logic on display here, but after a while, I’m starting to believe that the sign is correct and also that I’m merely a collection of atoms that have been around for 13 billion years and that all human endevour is ultimately pointless.
  3. Exactly how many people have added contradicting information to this sign?  We have Black Arrow,  Yellow Arrow, and perhaps least helpful of all, Four Dots.  Any more and the sign will simply be replaced by The Sunday Times crossword.

Thankfully, someone who sits near the fabled Room 2-6 was able to spin me three times and push me in the correct direction.  This post is dedicated to their magickal ways and to the buggers who either couldn’t be bothered turning up for my meeting or who died in transit.