There’s an advert for Sky+ that’s doing the rounds just now. Much as I don’t want to have three sequential posts pointing to YouTube, here’s the YouTube video of it:

Now, for those of you who fall asleep the instant Ms Brook attempts to act, here’s the transcript of the ad.

There’s a series button that you can … if you wanna watch, like, the whole first series of Sex And The City that’s kind of rerunning on some channel, then, you can just kind of press that and it’ll record the whole lot for you so you’ve got that stored. You don’t have to be in anymore you can just go out and do what you want and eat when you want and … yeah … revelation. I love Sky+ more than I thought. It makes my life so much easier.

Am I alone? Are there other people in the world who hear her say all that and the first thing that comes to mind is, you’re a fucking liar, Kelly Brook. You’ve never sat in on a Friday night, waiting for the next episode of Sex And The City to come on before you could pry yourself away from the TV to heat up a Findus Chicken Lasagne. You’ve never thought to yourself, you know, I’d love to go to The Dark Knight première and shag that Billy Zane dude, but Ab Fab’s coming on in twenty minutes so I’d better give it a miss. You’ve never screamed until your lungs bled because the one thing missing from your life was a Hard Disk TV Recording System. In what way was your privileged life incomplete without Sky+? And if you don’t have to be in anymore — if Sky+ has undone your shackles and you can now spend all your time out — when exactly are you, kind of, supposed to watch, like, the whole first series of Sex And The Bloody City?

All that said … still more convincing than she was in The Big Breakfast.

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