Victoria Derbyshire’s morning show on Radio Five Live is usually excellent and the only downside about it is I very seldom get a chance to catch it, thanks to work and being a lazy sod when I’m on holiday. This morning, however, I’m sitting in waiting on Super Mario to come and fix my leaky bath so I got a chance to hear her and her guest, the honorable member for Blackburn, Jack Straw.

Jack Straw, this morning, represents everything that’s wrong with the modern politician and that is that the modern politician is exactly the same as his 1950s counterpart. He was condescending, he insinuated that callers were liars and he churns out the same old rhetoric regardless of the question and just talks louder when someone tries to pull him to task for this.

Caller after caller tried to tell him that inflation is much, much higher than 2.1% and doesn’t represent the tightness in the pocket of Joe Q Public. No, it’s not, he said. And even if it was, it’s still much better than it would’ve been if the Tories had been in power.

YOU’VE BEEN IN POWER FOR ELEVEN FREAKIN’ YEARS! IT’S NOT THE TORIES FAULT ANYMORE!

I’m not voting for Labour ever again, says another caller. I’ve heard that one before, chirps Straw, and the other day when a guy told me that, his wife said that he’d never voted Labour in his life before!

Sand? Check. Head in it? Check.

I understand, says Straw as he moves in for the kill, that some people are a little grumpy with us just now.

Grumpy? GRUMPY? I was in a pretty good mood this morning, Jacko, but now I’m fucking livid. How DARE he describe genuine concerns and doubts as grumpiness on behalf of the electorate. How dare he be so dismissive. We’re not the bloody Seven Dwarves, Jack. We’re not children.

Unemployment is down, he reminds us. Unable to resist it JUST ONE TIME, he goes on to say it’s much lower than it was under the Tories.

He’s right on that, though. Unemployment is down, but I’d love to see it increased by one.

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