I love Eggheads on BBC2.

For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, allow me to explain. The titular Eggheads are:

  • Kevin — Google in a pullover. Scored 41 in Mastermind which by any standards is pretty decent.
  • Daphne — a know it all granny who takes pleasure in reminding us that she won 15 to 1 … twice.
  • Judith — posh bird who by some outrageous fluke won Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. Judging by some of the answers she gives on Eggheads, I’d be interested to listen to a rerun of her Millionaire show for someone clearing their throat.
  • Chris — train anorak who took up quizzing as a substitute for combing his hair.
  • CJ — muppet. Wears an alice band. Nuff said.

These 4 behemoths of quizland and CJ go up against members of the public, conveniently grouped into packs of five, in a fight to the death (or best of three). There are four face-offs with Egghead v Punter with the winner going through to the final round where G. Public tries to win a few grand and the Eggheads play, allegedly, for pride. Proceedings are overseen by the erstwhile Dermot Murghnahanahan.

Now, the groups of five members of the public tend to be co-workers or close friends or family or whatever. Tonight was a group of five social pariahs who like to dress as vampires and zombies. Why more groups of people who’re good at quizzes don’t apply has never been fully explained.

So anyway, tonight, one of the zombies was asked in which Asian city were the 1998 Commonwealth Games held? Zombie has a brief think about it, mutters something under his breath and grandly announces his answer


Beijing’s been in the news recently. You might have heard about it. You might also have heard that it’s in China.

“So you think China’s in the Commonwealth?” asks Dermot, saying what we’re all thinking. Meanwhile, Zombie’s pals look on optimistically.

Zombie looks none the wiser and seems genuinely disappointed when the correct answer — Kuala Lumpur — is revealed.

Geography proves a difficult topic for the challengers on Eggheads. I remember a lass who thought Hawaii was in the Indian Ocean. Credit where it’s due, she quickly eliminated the Arctic Ocean from her enquiries.

Anyway, the whole point of this was to announce that, tonight I discovered I’m not on my own, as this thread on DigitalSpy proves.

Ch-ch-check it.